Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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