but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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