wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i out mim tonsoeep
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
