Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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