The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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