someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
