Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
