Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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