I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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