He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize