she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
