i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I could fuck to npr.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
