the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize