guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
