so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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