brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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