The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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