i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
