just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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