Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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