everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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