update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize