Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
