then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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