Banned from zoo.
Again?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the day after is always just damage control
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize