Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
