I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
