paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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