I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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