Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm too high and old for this...
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