i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
