yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
