I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
