Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish i was in the wii world.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize