I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I love having hate sex.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
