Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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