K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
