Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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