my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize