I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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