super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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