You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize