im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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