how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
