brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
