I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
