yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
