i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Randomize
