Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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