Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
