My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
