when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
