No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
