Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
