playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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