Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
