he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
