come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
