she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
this is an emotional support booty call
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
