you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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