I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
PANTIES FOUND
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