Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
