So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
