Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
